Acceptance

My phase of transition over the last couple of weeks is acceptance.
As i begin to share what I have and am learning about this phase of motherhood, I kind of question whether it is really that note worthy to be sitting here pondering all of this and writing about it. But for me personally it has obviously been a major season in my life that has caused much seeking of the Lord, lots of talking to about any mom who will listen! and alot of joy and pain.
So, I guess it is just that, a season, and all seasons are different.
No matter how difficult or easy a season of life is, the way we walk through it, is totally dependant on how much we cling to the Lord. Some seasons, we sing and dance through, others we struggle. But if we are holding tight to the Lord in the seasons of struggle there is still much joy, peace, hope and growth!
I love the Lord,, I just have to say that again. I am so lost, empty without Him.
Back to acceptance.
That's where I have moved to. I have accepted that ,I do not want my kids to grow up {you know what I mean} , but I accept that it really is ok. I have almost mourned already, that the time of having them totally at home is coming to an end.
Instead of being sad, acceptance is letting me just be glad for that time we had. I so so loved my time with my family all tucked away under our roof for those years.
I have accepted that you just have to move with the change, and with that I am more peaceful. Still kind of teary eyed sometimes, but just ok with it.
I am glad that tho I may be alittle over the top, with my struggle to let go, I am glad I had it happen now, before they were gone..Because it has made me stay on my toes to try to capture all the moments.
I did this when they were little, because of the difficult season we had also come through of infertility. But even so, we as moms need to have constant reminders as they grow to make as much of the time we have.
Acceptance lets me hear the Lord a little clearer telling me, to pick myself up, enjoy this time and begin diving into the areas He is directing again. Kick up that prayer life, ask Him, "what next Lord?" and do it.
I already know my next blog wont be about my momma whoa's, but about having the faith to move forward in whatever area the Lord prompts us to,,that's the little pushes i am hearing from the Lord. He knows us, He knows when we need time to work through heart pains, He also knows when it is time to "walk" through those heart pains and keep going.
Now, I am walking in acceptance!

I want to also add on another note:
Have you noticed how big the sun is,,how bright the sun seems to be and how brilliant everything seems to be outside!!! I can't get over it. I know the Lord is speaking something through creation right now,, and I am asking, "What Lord, what is it your saying, because I see something!"

Progress

A note of progress in this season of beginning to let go.{ a little,,I have to make that clear,,letting go a little..not too much!}.

First an acknowledgement of truth, letting go ever so slightly, gives our children the freedom to grow.

As in every single hard thing we go through in this journey of life, we grow. We grow in our relationship and faith in the Lord. I can see so many ways the Lord is preparing me, and helping me along the way in this season of releasing. Because it doesn't matter if someone else does or doesn't have the difficulty I am, He loves me enough to help me.

I can see His preparation in letting me know, next summer will not be the same as summer pasts. This painful enlightment he gave me this summer, hit me hard. But it allowed me to snap awake and make all those car rides back and forth cherished. That alone has blessed and strengthened my time over the last several months with the kids. It is amazing how in a matter of minutes driving to a game or practice they will just begin sharing and talking! It's a God thing and I am ever grateful for it. If the Lord had not prompted me, I may have missed some wonderful conversations with them.

Just tonight, brought me a lady in our church who shares very closely in what I am going through. So good to talk and relate. God is good, He is our helper in all times.

A large part of my progress is in just seeing and being strengthened in how the Lord is providing answers, encouragement and truth during this time of transition.

I still want a home filled with little feet running, messes needing cleaned up. But for now, I have my sweet teens here and I am going to enjoy them and trust the Lord to continue step by step releasing, strong, secure children.

That's todays lessons for me.

Psalm 97

How can we ever really get into our minds the awesome, Holiness of our God.
That He who is above all, reaches down to us, to provide truth and strength for all
things.
Don't you feel so loved for Him to whisper a scripture that is just for you, just for
that day.
Here is mine for today. And I am overcome with Love for my Lord who loves me enough
to give it.
He has one for you too,,,just ask.
If you ask He makes His word alive, to just burn in your spirit.

{italics. comments mine,,of course}
Psalm 97
The Lord reigns {hallelujah!!!now that should be a shout coming from deep within!},
let the earth be glad;
let distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation
of his throne.
Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side. {Thank you Lord}
His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth!!
The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and ALL THE PEOPLE see his glory.
All who worship images are put to shame, and those who boast in idols, worship
him, all you gods!
Zion hears and rejoices and the villages of Judah are glad because of your judgments, O LORD.
For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods.
Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.
Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.
Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name.

Fall

Another thought for today.

I wonder if any of you have seasons you are emotionally affected by. I really sense the Lord's presence in nature lately and want to just give the Lord thanks for being able to feel Him in this season of fall. I am overwelmed almost each day, even for a few moments of how crisp the air is, how bright the sun seems to shine and I just feel the Lord's ever comforting arms around me. What I really want to share though, is how amazing for me personally this is. For many, many years of my life, I battled heaviness, and deep sadness during the fall season. No matter what I did, I couldn't overcome it. The sun would shine, but unlike today, I wouldn't feel it. I would also feel dread and some fear. NOT NO MORE! Not no more. The Lord in His sweet goodness to me, delivered and healed me of the wounds that caused all that heaviness. I mean, I was even thinking of decorating with pumpkins, corn stalks ect. I have never done that. I don't mean halloween decorating, no way! But decorating with the produce the Lord gives. Pretty big statement of freedom in this life. I Love the Lord, that He has set me free and healed me. I love being able to feel Him in the fall, crisp air.

Witnessing wisdom and Love

I started this post to tell you about my progress in having a heart that overflows from this mouth words of wisdom and love, and immediately changed course to share with you how I spent my day.

I spent a good part of today at my dear friend Tami's with her beautiful baby girls. I call Tami's house the "happy house!" Because it is. The Lord's presence is there, there is joy, thankfulness and parents who are blessed as they dreamed to be for a long time. How can it be anything but a Happy home. I love visiting with them.

One of the reason their home stays joyful, even through trying times, as all parents have, is that Tami and Adam both, speak words of wisdom and love that I have blogged about. They continually trust in the Lord to walk them through what that week brings and out of their mouths are words of faith and thanksgiving. They have been through alot the last couple of weeks, I have not heard any words of muttering or upset to the Lord, only trust and thanksgiving for being their families loving God and healer.

One of the wisdom's Beth spoke of was recognition of Jesus as all and continued thankfulness for all he has done. We that is deep in our heart, than in all circumstances love and thankfulness flows out. That is true. and that is the picture I just described above.

I consider today a blessed day. Not much more fun you can have than holding a sweet baby and talking to a friend. Life's simple things are the best.

I am not sure how my own progress has been in deeping a heart seeking wisdom and Love, but my journey to develop it in myself has opened my eyes wider in seeing that gift in others.