The Place of Waiting

I am learning about the "Place of Waiting." It isn't something new, just a new revelation of what it means to me, a deeper understanding.

There are many times in life when we are in such need of a touch from the Lord, a breakthrough to stuggles, or an answered prayer. And many times this need becomes so overwelming and we become so desperate we come to a place of decision. We have done all we know to do, prayed, held to His word, repented, fasted, but the answer or need has not happened yet.

I am calling this the waiting place. We wait. When we can't move on our own anymore, when we don't really know for sure what to do. We wait.

Seems simple, but is it really. It isn't. But really it is a peaceful, healing place, if we can do it. Really do it.

In waiting we are not giving in to hopelessness, or giving up, or not praying, we don't stop fasting and seeking, , it is actually far from that. In waiting we are expecting our God to answer, we are trusting He will come through, we are believing based on His word and what it tells us. We are holding still, until He tells us our next move and waiting. Praying, praying. And I think it helps to study his word and concentrate on His character, who Jesus is. That gives us more strength to wait.

Waiting is Ok. It is more than ok, I believe I am learning it is a good place.

Whatever the need, little or small we wait so the answer comes from him.

I am waiting on the one who has never failed me, and believing all the things I take to Him, He hears and cares.

I was sent this devotional from a friend and I think it is so noteworthy to really read it and consider.

It is from "Proverbs 31 Ministry" Devotional.

In our church our Pastor has been speaking on really loving others beyond our first love of our husbands and children.

I am highlighting a couple sentences in this devotion that I believe our Pastor may have spoke also word for word.I believe the Lord is telling us women to pour first into our family continually! But to also begin to find it in ourselves to pour out to others. To those we meet everyday who do not know the Lord, to let the Love of Jesus flow out.

I have been thinking about that mandate we are given to reach the lost. I have also been really realizing tho, that we need to not overlook the blessings of friendships we have been given. I am asking the Lord to help me do this well! It can in a way be sometimes easier to pour out love in the world to those we don't know, verses friendships..because friendships take time, commitment, loyalty and Love. But they are so worth it!

A Recipe for Relationships 10 Nov 2010 Micca Monda Campbell "Because he loved him as he loved himself." 1 Samuel 20:17b (NIV) So many people today are looking for meaningful relationships, yet so few actually find them. My mother use to tell me to count myself lucky if I had just one "close friend." That's because close life-long relationships are hard to come by. Since we are becoming an increasingly private society, it seems that fewer people than ever actually have life-long intimate friends. Still, the desire for this kind of relationship is not only sought after, but necessary. Women are naturally drawn to other women. In fact, a girl's first experience with heartache may have been over a lost "best friend" rather than a "boyfriend." Women value friendships. When they are lost, we grieve; not just over the friendship itself, but also for the secrets shared, the trust given and the acceptance enjoyed. If betrayed, the pain runs deep causing us to wonder if intimate friendships are really possible. When I think of a biblical example of real friendship, the story of David and Jonathan, found in 1 Samuel 19, always comes to mind. Jonathan, son of King Saul, was David's closest friend. The King despised David because he was growing in popularity and because God had anointed David to be king. These facts enraged King Saul, and he commanded his aids and Jonathan to assassinate David. But Jonathan loved David; therefore he would not betray David. Love isn't the only fruit of true friendship. A real relationship consists of sacrifice too. We discover in this story that Jonathan stripped himself of the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his armor, his sword, his bow, and his belt. Jonathan was the potential heir to his father's thron e, but we see him sacrificing his future for David as he literally gives David his place as king. You and I learn from this action that true friendship means a willingness to sacrifice for each other in love. It's the ability to put another's needs, desires, and wishes above those of our own. Loyalty is also a mark of true friendship. We're told that Jonathan went to his father and spoke well of David. Jonathan also stood up to his dad and said, "Dad, you're wrong about David. He hasn't done anything against you, in fact, everything he's done has helped you." A true friend is a loyal defense before others; one who won't talk about you when you're not around. True friends stick up for each other and are ready to defend when others attack. Finally, intimate friends give each other complete freedom to be themselves. In an intimate friendship, you don't have to explain why you do what you do. You're just free to do it. When Jonathan gave David the sign that t hings were not okay in the palace and that his dad was going to kill David, the two were forced to say goodbye. The text tells us they wept together. When your heart is broken, you can bleed all over a friend like this and she'll understand. She won't try to comfort you in your misery or tell you to straighten up. Intimate friends let each other hurt and they weep together. If your friend needs to complain, you will listen. Intimate friends don't bale, they stay. They allow you to be yourself no matter what 'self' looks like. If you're looking for a Godly recipe for relationships, look no further. Mix together love, sacrifice, loyalty, and freedom and you can create an intimate friendship that lasts a lifetime. Dear Lord, help me to be a friend like Jonathan. Then, bless me with the same. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Acceptance

My phase of transition over the last couple of weeks is acceptance.
As i begin to share what I have and am learning about this phase of motherhood, I kind of question whether it is really that note worthy to be sitting here pondering all of this and writing about it. But for me personally it has obviously been a major season in my life that has caused much seeking of the Lord, lots of talking to about any mom who will listen! and alot of joy and pain.
So, I guess it is just that, a season, and all seasons are different.
No matter how difficult or easy a season of life is, the way we walk through it, is totally dependant on how much we cling to the Lord. Some seasons, we sing and dance through, others we struggle. But if we are holding tight to the Lord in the seasons of struggle there is still much joy, peace, hope and growth!
I love the Lord,, I just have to say that again. I am so lost, empty without Him.
Back to acceptance.
That's where I have moved to. I have accepted that ,I do not want my kids to grow up {you know what I mean} , but I accept that it really is ok. I have almost mourned already, that the time of having them totally at home is coming to an end.
Instead of being sad, acceptance is letting me just be glad for that time we had. I so so loved my time with my family all tucked away under our roof for those years.
I have accepted that you just have to move with the change, and with that I am more peaceful. Still kind of teary eyed sometimes, but just ok with it.
I am glad that tho I may be alittle over the top, with my struggle to let go, I am glad I had it happen now, before they were gone..Because it has made me stay on my toes to try to capture all the moments.
I did this when they were little, because of the difficult season we had also come through of infertility. But even so, we as moms need to have constant reminders as they grow to make as much of the time we have.
Acceptance lets me hear the Lord a little clearer telling me, to pick myself up, enjoy this time and begin diving into the areas He is directing again. Kick up that prayer life, ask Him, "what next Lord?" and do it.
I already know my next blog wont be about my momma whoa's, but about having the faith to move forward in whatever area the Lord prompts us to,,that's the little pushes i am hearing from the Lord. He knows us, He knows when we need time to work through heart pains, He also knows when it is time to "walk" through those heart pains and keep going.
Now, I am walking in acceptance!

I want to also add on another note:
Have you noticed how big the sun is,,how bright the sun seems to be and how brilliant everything seems to be outside!!! I can't get over it. I know the Lord is speaking something through creation right now,, and I am asking, "What Lord, what is it your saying, because I see something!"

Progress

A note of progress in this season of beginning to let go.{ a little,,I have to make that clear,,letting go a little..not too much!}.

First an acknowledgement of truth, letting go ever so slightly, gives our children the freedom to grow.

As in every single hard thing we go through in this journey of life, we grow. We grow in our relationship and faith in the Lord. I can see so many ways the Lord is preparing me, and helping me along the way in this season of releasing. Because it doesn't matter if someone else does or doesn't have the difficulty I am, He loves me enough to help me.

I can see His preparation in letting me know, next summer will not be the same as summer pasts. This painful enlightment he gave me this summer, hit me hard. But it allowed me to snap awake and make all those car rides back and forth cherished. That alone has blessed and strengthened my time over the last several months with the kids. It is amazing how in a matter of minutes driving to a game or practice they will just begin sharing and talking! It's a God thing and I am ever grateful for it. If the Lord had not prompted me, I may have missed some wonderful conversations with them.

Just tonight, brought me a lady in our church who shares very closely in what I am going through. So good to talk and relate. God is good, He is our helper in all times.

A large part of my progress is in just seeing and being strengthened in how the Lord is providing answers, encouragement and truth during this time of transition.

I still want a home filled with little feet running, messes needing cleaned up. But for now, I have my sweet teens here and I am going to enjoy them and trust the Lord to continue step by step releasing, strong, secure children.

That's todays lessons for me.

Psalm 97

How can we ever really get into our minds the awesome, Holiness of our God.
That He who is above all, reaches down to us, to provide truth and strength for all
things.
Don't you feel so loved for Him to whisper a scripture that is just for you, just for
that day.
Here is mine for today. And I am overcome with Love for my Lord who loves me enough
to give it.
He has one for you too,,,just ask.
If you ask He makes His word alive, to just burn in your spirit.

{italics. comments mine,,of course}
Psalm 97
The Lord reigns {hallelujah!!!now that should be a shout coming from deep within!},
let the earth be glad;
let distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation
of his throne.
Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side. {Thank you Lord}
His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth!!
The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and ALL THE PEOPLE see his glory.
All who worship images are put to shame, and those who boast in idols, worship
him, all you gods!
Zion hears and rejoices and the villages of Judah are glad because of your judgments, O LORD.
For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods.
Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.
Light is shed upon the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.
Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous, and praise his holy name.

Fall

Another thought for today.

I wonder if any of you have seasons you are emotionally affected by. I really sense the Lord's presence in nature lately and want to just give the Lord thanks for being able to feel Him in this season of fall. I am overwelmed almost each day, even for a few moments of how crisp the air is, how bright the sun seems to shine and I just feel the Lord's ever comforting arms around me. What I really want to share though, is how amazing for me personally this is. For many, many years of my life, I battled heaviness, and deep sadness during the fall season. No matter what I did, I couldn't overcome it. The sun would shine, but unlike today, I wouldn't feel it. I would also feel dread and some fear. NOT NO MORE! Not no more. The Lord in His sweet goodness to me, delivered and healed me of the wounds that caused all that heaviness. I mean, I was even thinking of decorating with pumpkins, corn stalks ect. I have never done that. I don't mean halloween decorating, no way! But decorating with the produce the Lord gives. Pretty big statement of freedom in this life. I Love the Lord, that He has set me free and healed me. I love being able to feel Him in the fall, crisp air.

Witnessing wisdom and Love

I started this post to tell you about my progress in having a heart that overflows from this mouth words of wisdom and love, and immediately changed course to share with you how I spent my day.

I spent a good part of today at my dear friend Tami's with her beautiful baby girls. I call Tami's house the "happy house!" Because it is. The Lord's presence is there, there is joy, thankfulness and parents who are blessed as they dreamed to be for a long time. How can it be anything but a Happy home. I love visiting with them.

One of the reason their home stays joyful, even through trying times, as all parents have, is that Tami and Adam both, speak words of wisdom and love that I have blogged about. They continually trust in the Lord to walk them through what that week brings and out of their mouths are words of faith and thanksgiving. They have been through alot the last couple of weeks, I have not heard any words of muttering or upset to the Lord, only trust and thanksgiving for being their families loving God and healer.

One of the wisdom's Beth spoke of was recognition of Jesus as all and continued thankfulness for all he has done. We that is deep in our heart, than in all circumstances love and thankfulness flows out. That is true. and that is the picture I just described above.

I consider today a blessed day. Not much more fun you can have than holding a sweet baby and talking to a friend. Life's simple things are the best.

I am not sure how my own progress has been in deeping a heart seeking wisdom and Love, but my journey to develop it in myself has opened my eyes wider in seeing that gift in others.

Wisdom and Kindness, open wide.

I just returned from a Beth Moore simulcast. I have been staring off and on at this blog I began a few weeks ago, but have had nothing to type since my first entry. Part of my hesitation was this feeling that I don't just want to talk on it, I want to post what the Lord prompts me to. So, since He hadn't been giving me a topic, I would just stare at it and be kind of puzzled wondering why I felt led to start it. I want to save those long babbling conversations, where we work through things in face to face, voice to voice, friend times. { you know ladies, we still need those}

Well today one of the things Beth stated was that we are all "publishers". If we blog, facebook, email, txt, tweeter. Anything we put in print is out there for all to read and we are publishers. But publishers, have editors, and we don't. She stated the Holy Spirit needs to be our editor. There you have it, that is why I haven't had anything to say until today. The Lord knows me, He knows I need an editor. He knows my heart may have good intentions, but my flesh can speak and it may something later I wish I hadn't "published'.

I want to share what the Lord imparted through Beth's teaching today and how it affected me.

The wonderful thing Beth Moore shared on was seeking the Lord to be a Proverbs 31 women, who lets wisdom and kindness come out of her mouth.

I am committing to asking the Lord to make me that women. The thing that is so needed, is that the Lord has to do it in us.

Because it really is a heart issue. If we are unable to release hurts, bitterness, falseness, than those things flow up from our heart and out our mouth. Now, we may be disciplined enough to say "nice things" but being nice isn't the same as "kindness." Kindness comes from a heart of Love, a heart that Loves overflowingly because of His love for us, gratitude to our Lord.

A mouth that speaks wisdom and kindness isn't thinking about herself at all. The love we give is to "profit" others, not ourselves and as we do that there is joy in the releasing of wisdom and kindness. We are in tune with Holy Spirit guiding us how to give, how to love and how to serve.

I want to be that women. I want my husband and children to remember words of kindness, wisdom coming out of this mouth. I want to love those the Lord puts in my path, to speak wisdom and kindness that will make my friends profit! Not hurt.

But I am not like that. Sometimes I am, but not as I want. I, we are very human, very flesh. We don't have to get discouraged though, because we have Jesus who is on our side, who sees our desire to be different. Ahhh..so glad for that!

I have faith that if the Lord has it in His word, and we ask Him to develop that in us, He is faithful to do so.

It was a good day, I came away with much to hold myself accountable to and a deeper knowing that I myself can not do it, but the Lord is able. I am tired and have actually been grumpy since I got home...Oh Lord work in me. I share that to give God all the Glory, because as I type how I want to be, I see how I am not.

BUT,,,"Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves" That is what we rest in.

I am going to post in 2 weeks, what and how the Lord has grown me in this. Even if it is only a teeny wee pit changed.

Know that you are Loved today, He Loves us.

And if you are one of my dear friends who would be the only ones reading this..know I love you dearly too!

My first post is to try with words to express my love and gratitude to the Lord.

I love Him, because He first loved me. We hear that phrase often, but it is the fabric of who I am.

He Loved me, comforted and protected me, as a small child before I knew it was Him I felt. He used the sunshine, the breeze, the air to surround me with His presence. I later learned that the one I felt so many times had a name. He drew me to small churches where adults were loving Him. And I was just at home, no need to explain it, they felt what I had felt many times before.

Lately I have been so moved and rested in the sunshine, the beauty of the sky, the beauty in His creation everywhere. The Lord has just recently brought up memories of my self as a child resting in His presence in the same way.

I just have to ask..can you feel, can you see His love for us in how warm the sun feels, how sweet the breeze is, just look around, stop and stare for a few minutes. And when we do this, don't let that moment go by without realizing all these things are kisses of Love from our heavenly father. He loves us in so many ways. I am asking Him to show me, in even more ways how He pours out His love, I hope my heart can take it, sometimes it feels like it will burst.

I pray my Love for Jesus will not crumble under pressure or the pains of this life we can't know.

So far He has held me tight through my struggles and pain, but I am very aware of my weaknesses, so My prayer as I go through this wonderful, yet sometimes difficult "Journey of Life" is, " Keep me, Oh Lord, keep me true to my love for you, Hold me tight if I can't hold on, and let my Love for you grow. Let it extend to love others. I want you Jesus to be seen through me, because you are so wonderful!"

So I shout from the mountain tops I can reach. "Oh How I Love Him!"